I am just a little bit in love (ok, quite a lot in love, really…) with Brené Brown – having been introduced to her books by the seriously wonderful Electric Woman that is Nikki Armytage.
And so now, I am Daring Greatly – or trying to – on a daily basis. I have had enough all the ‘all talk but no trousers’ routine that I’ve been playing around with for a while – so here I am – trying to become the best me I can become, because life is just far too short to be mediocre.
Brené is a hard task master, but her books have inspired me – to really take a look at who I am and what I’m doing – as a person, as a partner, as a parent and as a colleague – and so I’m trying to work her process a little more into my day to day life.
I’m reading (even more than before), making notes, smiling – and doing… Including owning up to my own failures – hence the new SFD page on the left hand side.
I think owning my story, writing my own shitty first drafts, and then rumbling with the truth is the very best thing I can do for me right now.
I have no idea what will come of this – but I am super super excited to be Daring Greatly…
Maybe leaning in is actually about being honest – being brave enough to be honest. Maybe it’s about stopping feeling like I have to ‘do-it-all’ because, actually, I’ve realised that I don’t want to – and that doesn’t make me a failure.
Maybe being honest could be about making me and other people happier? Maybe I could say that I didn’t want the management position office job. That it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Maybe I could say that I wanted to be my own boss. That I wanted to help other people, to little by little make the world a nicer place for the individual people in it?
Maybe I could say that for me – leaning in, is about leaning in to me – and my honest desires? To creating something that I’m proud of. To creating something small, and beautiful, and meaningful – even if it’s not based around 40hrs a week in an office.
Maybe being honest is just about saying no. No, I do not want this anymore. I did want it. And I used to enjoy it. And I’ve had some great times. But not so much now. So, no… I have changed. And so for me now, to move along into the next stage of me – I need to say no to a whole pile of stuff that I thought I had to say yes to.
But I don’t. I can be brave. And by being brave, I am being honest.
It started as a musical ‘crisis’… and I hoped I’d get away with that… Then it was some books that reminded me of who I was…
Now – I can’t avoid it. I am in the grips of my very own mid-life crisis – and you know what? I love it…
My whole vision of what ‘having it all’ means is in the process of changing – and it’s letting me own up to who I really am, and what I really want to do – and it’s different to where I’ve been headed.
So, it’s not so much a desperate cry for help. More of a starting to sing, in the hope that others will come along and join in with me. This is down to me. And I am excited.
Welcome to my mid-life crisis.
Notes from Shanghai – after a fairly large scale Life Leap, just to keep things interesting…