How many months has it taken me to find the time to do this? Two many… But now, for today – it’s official. I am a coffee shop hipster (or not…)
But today was my first proper, on my own, day off – and I was determined to make myself blog… and I have.
I now work nine out of ten days – and so have every other Friday off – to myself. Up until now, since my return to work in August, hubby was off as well – so the time was shared – with him, and the kids. But now, he’s back at work as well, the oldest is in school, and the younger two are at nursery. And I am claiming this day as my own.
Yes, I could have taken the kids out of nursery, but you know what, this time is for me. The guilt does occasionally weigh heavy here (does this make me a bad parent?) but then i do something that makes me smile (have a coffee with a couple of the mums I made friends with at the school gates while on maternity, who I rarely get to see now) and I breathe in and I realise that this is part of making me a better parent. I am quite introverted really, and so I crave time on my own – and what with work, the kids, the hubby, the very small group of great friends, it can feel like I never have any headspace for myself.
So today, after the coffee (which was lovely) and the blood test (which meant I didn’t need to take time out of a working day) I decided that I would grab the laptop, and my notebooks and head to the loveliest of coffee shops near home – to just sit and actually blog. It’s me, the mac,a leather sofa, an extravagantly expensive ‘special reserve’ drip coffee, and time.
And it feels like a really special treat.
It’s been a busy time at work, with more travelling than I’m used to (and I’ve become a useless traveller – I hate it, airports are no fun at all), and pressure put on myself by myself to be the ‘perfect’ working person – as the guilt that I leave early and have this day off mounts.
But I’m starting to realise / believe that actually I’m pretty darned efficient in the nine days that I’m in the office – and for everything that anyone has asked of me, I’ve delivered. It’s a work in progress, and I know I need to get better at caring less what other people might think. But it’s going ok. And whilst the ‘love’ of work has yet to really return, I’ve done some good stuff, I’ve helped some people out – and that’s what makes me happiest.
I’ll grab another coffee, together with an exceptionally good brownie, and then I’ll go collect biggest Pickle from the school gates. There will be a bike ride, some monkey bars – and then off to collect the littler pickles and head for some Friday night family tea.
I think I’m going to like these Fridays.