I need to stop, and stand and stare…

Yes, it may be cold and wet outside, but… I need to stop, and stand and stare…

life

It’s been a crazy week with hubby away.  With roadworks and rain and an unbelievable amount of ‘can you just…’ work, and I feel as if I have just raced from one thing to the next, in order to get them done, tick them off – and get on to the next thing.

This is often the way when hubby is away. It’s nothing new. But it feels like a waste.  Yes, I get to work later than normal – but I need to chill.

The pickles don’t enjoy it either. Getting out the door in the morning is a military operation.  LIttle man gets clingy at nursery drop off and I’m just trying to race to get the earliest train possible, to buy minutes of time…

Lunch is non existant as there’s just too much to do.

The 4 o’clock departure time looms, and the reverse commute is just as manic, but filled with darkness, rain and more damned traffic jams. The whole world seems to want to go in the same direction as me, as there is just not enough road space.

I collect littlest (alive? eaten? slept?), then little man (been a good boy?) and then the chase to get big Pickle (who always tells me I’m too early and ruining her fun, whatever time I get there).  Then home, deposit all bags and daily detritus, have fruit and water, argue over who gets to choose what to watch, drag relevant clothes and books upstairs, bath littlest, feed littlest, bath bigger ones, reading homework, sing-a-long, lights out, laundry, washing up, log back on, clear inbox, do all the work I meant to do earlier in the day, remember to eat something, clear up, head to bed…

And then a friend posts a link to an article on The Guardian, and I read it, and it makes me smile, and makes me sad, and makes me think…

I don’t want to miss everything. I don’t want to look back and wonder quite what I was hurrying along for. Because the truth is, I’m hurrying along for this. This is my life. Each and every day. So, in the future, I hope to remind myself that I’ll always be busy. It will never stop. But I chose this. And I need to choose the moments. To be there. I need to stop, and stand and stare. At all the wonderful things that my days contain.

 

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